I Demand Respect

by Angelica Spraggins

Respectability politics is a set of beliefs holding that conformity to prescribed mainstream standards of appearance and behavior will protect a person who is part of a marginalized group, especially a Black person, from prejudices and systemic injustices. For most of my life this sentiment has been a defining and covert force in how I navigate the world. Respectability politics boils down to the belief that if Black and Brown folks act “respectable” enough they will be provided with the same luxuries as their white counterparts. Although this thinking was not at the forefront of my mind as a child, it has become more apparent to me in my adulthood.

At the age of 27, I moved to Erie, Pennsylvania and in this community I have met a number of successful and wonderful people. I have also been met with the idea of ‘respectability politics’ dictating how quickly I can navigate this new environment. Within our Black community we have further separated ourselves from one another by deciding who is worthy of resources, support and assistance. These decisions are normally made based on familial or community connections formed. There are so many stories of respectability politics I could tell but I would rather focus on how it harms our community. 

This image (protestors) is from nappy.co

The standards of respectability politics over the centuries since slavery, created great leaders such as Martin Luther King Jr. and Rosa Parks; all while villainizing other great Black leaders such as Malcolm X, Bayard Rustin and Assata Shakur because they did not “fit the mold” of decency and civility in the movement. Whether it was too pro-black and combative or if they identified as LBGTQIA within the Black community; these leaders were cast aside by the “non-violent” movement of the 60’s. These great leaders' names are found in recent years but their tactics and lack of sympathy for the oppressor often placed them on the outside of the movement. Their radicalness was not appropriate for a Black person to display and in fact  was considered disrespectful to their white oppressors. Now this may come as a shock to some, Dr. King was in fact the grand creation of the 60’s respectability politics movement. He was well educated, well spoken, charismatic, generationally respected, and a heterosexual married man. King fit the mold of the MOST respectable type of black person. The type of black person that was ENTITLED to fight for their equality. What was the issue with this? 

Here’s the issue: Fast forward to 2020, there have been an uncountable number of killings of Black and Brown PEOPLE, with womxn and Trans womxn being most vulnerable to violent crimes. In many of these shootings the individuals clothing, toxicology reports or family history is used to determine that a particular shooting is justified. This person deserved to be shot due to their circumstances. These individuals were not worthy of life because THEY were not deemed “respectable”; and so their life was disposable. I use this example because too often we use someone's life to determine their worthiness. Respectability politics has caused a rift in the black community. It has created a line between them and me.

I implore those reading this to assess the way you experience life. What in your experience would deem you disrespectful if a close enough microscope was placed on you? There are a number of chains that we must break in order to grow as a people. We must educate ourselves in as many ways as possible. As a therapist I truly believe that our biggest task will be to educate ourselves on one another. Understanding that there is no “monolith” for the perfect example of a person of color.

There is no room for respectability politics in a community focused on uniting and building.